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well, bye

good news, everyone

Um absoLUTELY NOT???????¿

no thanks………..

yall dead

RIP on tha plane lol

the usa is literally the dumbest fucking country on earth

We dead

why? bruh we gotta go….

The only way to get Ebola from either of these two patients is to come into close contact with their blood or bodily fluids. Since it is already known that these two are infected all necessary quarantine procedures will be followed. You would have to actively try and get ebola from them at this point.
And they are being brought back to the US because the US has better fit facilities to try and combat the disease.

Jake Jensen Werewolf AU   




I have this AU/story idea that all stemmed from a short fic by Scorpio71 on Archive of Our Own.

Counting By Fives by Scorpio71

Here is the short from AO3 that inspired it all


The soft whomp of paw pads and the click of claws on wood…


THAT was really good. Next bit please??

Part the Second of the Jake Jensen Werewolf AU:

Ok. So after the initial freak out and explanation the team begins to accept and adapt to the fact that Jensen is a Wolf. They make is back to the States and settle back into their lives with a few adjustments. They all decide that it would probably be easier for Jensen to keep with at least one of the team during the full-moon Shifts, because he looks like a large dangerous animal, that if not accompanied by a human, would probably be captured, impounded, or simply shot on sight (like he’s a large wolf, people will freak out). Cougar automatically volunteers for the job, though Pooch is open to taking a turn every so often. They get Jensen a camo collar with his own pair or DOG tags (not military dog tags, like actual dog, dog tags) with two tags on it. One is a simple steel tag which has his “owner” contact information (Cougar), an the other is a bright neon green tag that has “Hi! I’m Jake!” on it. (“Jake” and Cougar’s contact number are also embroidered in white on his collar) They also got a harness from a friend with the K-9 units that fits Jake’s wolf form.

They also, as a joke at first but Jake kind of loves it, get him a couple of dog toys for him to play with when in Wolf form. Tug ropes (playing tug-of-war with Roque and exhausting Roque), frisbees, tennis balls (Pooch rigged a ball launcher made from PVC pipe and compressed air), and Jake’s favorite, the squeaky ball painted to look like the moon.  

So every month, or whenever Jake really gets an itch to go for a run, he will either Shift in their house on base, or will go out with one of the team and Shift out in the woods nearby, and go on, code word ‘Walkies’. (Jake came up with that code word). Like I said before, Cougar is usually the one to go out with Jensen on these Walkies (and whenever he Shifts, they call him Jake), and they usually end up in a park with a large field and play fetch. Or sometimes they will end up in the woods and play hide and seek. Cougar will hook up an old school pager to Jake’s harness and then Jake would wait while Cougar went off into the woods to hide. When Cougar was hidden, he would page Jake, signalling the ‘Go’ and then Jake would track him by his scent (like hunting but more fun because he would find Cougar at the end). And he would always find Cougar. 

On a side note: It became clear pretty quickly that Cougar was more than just Jake’s best friend. He’s Jake’s mate. Jake didn’t force anything on Cougar, like suddenly yelling “YOU’RE MY MATE! LET’S SEX IT UP!” No. He courted Cougar as a man and let him get close to the wolf. Letting Cougar accept him at his own pace. Or at least Jake thinks its was him courting Cougar. When asked about the subject of who pursued who, Cougar would only smirk knowingly and give no answer.

After Bolivia they don’t go on Walkies much anymore. They’ve kept it from Aisha, and she probably wouldnt have suspected anything if she hadn’t followed Jake and Pooch that evening.

(enter little ficlet)

She heard them through the partially opened door. 

"Hey Jensen?"

"Yeah? What up Pooch my man? Need me to hack another satellite for ya’?" asked Jensen, not breaking pace in his typing. 

"Um… nah. I got to talk to Jolene and my boy this morning." replied Pooch.

"How’s Puppy?" 

"Jensen. No. Just no."

"Come on. Its adorable and totally works. Pooch’s spawn called Puppy. Makes sense." Aisha could hear the sarcasm in Jensen’s voice. 

"Stop referring to my son as my spawn."

"Well, what’d ya need?"

Pooch was quiet for a moment. “I just… do… does Jake want to go for a Walkie?” 

Aisha heard Jensen’s pace falter for a moment. 

"No." Jensen said solemnly. "I dont do that anymore. Not… no Pooch."

"Come on Jensen. When was the last time you went out?"

"Pooch, please dont-"

"Not since before Bolivia right? You’re tense man, more on edge and pushing yourself. You need a break. Come on a Walkie. Stretch your legs, go for a run. It’ll do you good."

"I’m fine Pooch." Jensen said curtly. 

"No you’re not man. I know you’ve been fighting it each month. And if I can tell, Cougs must have known the whole time. Why fight it? You know what it does to you? Enough of this masochistic bullshit man!" argued Pooch, sounding more and more angry.

"I said I’m fine Pooch. Leave it alone. Mind your own shit!" countered Jensen. He had stopped typing a long time ago. Aisha tensed, expecting to hear a fight from inside the room. She hadn’t expected to hear how desperate and broken Pooch’s voice sounded as he replied.

"Then… then do it for me. Do it for me man. I need a Walkie… Its cathartic… All this shit with Roque and Max and crap leads and being away from Jolene… I… I need to let loose. And I worry about you man. Do it for me."

The room was silent for a long moment.

"I’ve still got that moon ball you guys got me." said Jensen, more gently. Pooch huffed out a laugh.

"I knew you would… I’ve got some bungee cords in the van. Could rig up a sling shot." Pooch offered softly, almost pleadingly. Jensen let out a long sigh.

"Alright. But you carry my shit." said Jensen. Aisha could hear Pooch relax and smile. 

"You got it man. And thank you."

"And dont you dare lose my glasses."

"I wont. I promise."

Aisha heard both men stand and start to move about the room. She slipped past the door and into the communal living area, plopping down next to Clay on the couch. Cougar sat at the kitchen table, habitually cleaning out their stash of guns.

A few minutes later Jensen and Pooch came clattering down the safe house stairs. Clay looked up from the tiny tv to stare at them as they started towards the back door through the kitchen. They froze for a moment, looking at Clay and then glance at Aisha.

"Um… Pooch and I are uh… going on a Walk….ie." said Jensen, glancing hesitantly at Aisha once more. Aisha glanced at Clay and Cougar. Cougar had stopped what he was doing and watched Jensen from under the brim of his hat. Clay, on the other hand, smirked and nodded knowingly.

"Alright. No man out alone. Be back by midnight."

Jensen and Pooch nodded and went out the door. As Jensen passed Cougar, Cougar reached out and patted the side of the hacker’s leg. Jensen paused and looked down at the sniper. Aisha couldn’t see his expression, but it made Jensen’s dopey smile spread across his face. Then they were out the door.


Aisha waited 15 minutes after the pair left before going up to her room. She silently slipped out the window and down the drain pipe and followed in the direction Pooch and Jensen had headed into the junk yard that laid outside the house. After a half mile she heard Pooch just around a stack of broken fridges. She kept close to the cold metal and peered around the corner.

Pooch stood in the middle of a large cleared area, his back to Aisha’s position, watching and waiting for something to happen.

Suddenly a large brown and tan dog leaped  over a tall junk pile. The… ‘Is that a wolf?’ Aisha thought, landed firmly and bounded across the open area. Its muzzle was drawn back to show its sharp teeth as it ran at Pooch. Pooch didn’t even flinch as the wolf came to a skidding halt in front of him. 


The wolf was gripping a ball painted to look like a moon in its teeth. With every movement of its powerful jaw the ball would let out a high pitched squeak.

"Alright man! That was awesome! Hand it over." said Pooch to the wolf. The wolf *ruffed* playfully and danced around Pooch, moving away every time Pooch would reach for the ball. 

"Come one man." laughed Pooch, fainting left and going right. Slipping his arms around the neck of the wolf, wrestling it gently in a loose headlock. The wolf wriggled and slipped out. He turned on Pooch and shoved him down onto his back with his front paws. Pooch laid there with the wolf standing on his chest, laughing up at the blue-gray eyes looking down at him. 

"Shit! Get off. You’re fuckin’ heavy!" laughed Pooch. The wolf dropped the ball on Pooch’s chest (it gave a soft squeak) and then lapped at Pooch’s face. 

"Aww man! That’s fucking gross! Stop it!" Pooch laughed, pushing the wolf off his chest. The wolf trotted off and circled, looking back at Pooch as the man sat up, wiping the slobber off his face with the edge of his shirt.

"That shit’s nasty."

The wolf *gruff*-ed at Pooch when the man didn’t immediately reach for the moon ball. The wolf whined and nudged the ball closer to Pooch’s hand with his nose.

"What? You want me to launch it?" asked Pooch, picking up the ball. The wolf *ruff*-ed and ducked his head down, tail swooshing side to side.

"Sorry, what was that?" The wolf bounced and *ruff*ed again, crouching low on its front paws, butt and tail high in the air, wagging more excitedly.

"I did add another bungee cord to the sling shot…." said Pooch, fainting deep thought as he tossed the ball back and forth between his hands. The wolf watched the ball’s every movement.

Pooch stopped the ball and looked at the wolf with a serious face.

"I’m gonna launch it." The wolf barked happily and danced back. Pooch reached over and grabbed a sling shot he had rigged up from the scrap metal and the van’s bungee cords. He braced it with his feet. 

"Ready?" asked Pooch, glancing over at the wolf as it stood at his side, crouched, ready to run. Aisha could have sworn she saw it duck its head in a nod as it growled deep in its throat. Pooch loaded the ball in the middle of the sling and leaned back, aiming the sling shot at a high angle, stretching the cords back.

"Alright," groaned Pooch as he strained to pull all the cords back. "Go for it Jake."

The was a *THWUMP* as the sling shot was released. The ball went sailing high into the air and then disappeared from sight beyond a high pile of junk. The wolf barked loudly and raced off after it.


Aisha made it back to the safe house before either of the two men. As Pooch and Jensen entered the house they were both smiling and laughing. Clay nodded at Pooch as the man grumbled past, saying that he was going to need a shower, smiling even though he was complaining.

Cougar caught Jensen at the kitchen table and held him between his spread legs. Looking up at Jensen, as Jensen smiled happily down at the sniper, Cougar asked quietly,

"Have a good Walkie?"

Jensen’s smile widened as he nodded.

"Yeah Cougs. It was great."

Aisha saw one of Cougar’s rare genuine smiles. The sniper reached up and pulled Jensen down by the back of the neck for a quick kiss. In the process Jensen lost grip on the canvas bag that he had been holding loosely. As it hit the crappy kitchen floor tile, Aisha heard a faint *squeak*.

And thus ends part 2 of (at least) 3 of Jake Jensen Werewolf AU! Tada! 

Cannon-fannon put me up to this part:

Jolene does know because Pooch doesn’t keep anything from her. She knew long before they were married. And Jensen does play with Puppy as a puppy (no matter how old they are, a dog is always a puppy). Like, he’ll babysit when they need a night off, and patrol the house in wolf form after Puppy has gone to sleep. At first Jolene was hesitant to let Jake play with Puppy in wolf form because what mother wants her new born to be played with by a large wolf. But Jake is very gentle with Puppy.

Jake cannot turn Cougar, nor would either of them want Cougar to be turned. In this universe, being a werewolf is genetically based, and only the males express it. Its carried on the X-chromosome but activated by the presence of a Y-chromosome. So Jake’s sister and niece can be carriers of lycanism, but it’s not expressed. And who would scratch Jake’s ears and belly and back when both of them are wolves, its logistically illogical. 

And…. So I lied about the next part being angst/hurt. I thought if this scene while driving and I had to put it in.

After the evening with Pooch, Jensen goes on Walkies more often. Aisha still hasnt figured it out but she doesn’t push it. Often the Walkies will be in the evening and he’ll get to run around, but sometimes, when he gets a real itch for it, he will go on Walkies during the day. Jake sometimes likes being a “dog” out in civilization. He gets to watch the world pass by without any care other than being a dog. He likes to people watch, play with other dogs, and he particularly loves it when random people (usually adorable little kids that remind him of his niece) come up and ask Cougar if they can pet him. Its because Jensen doesnt have to worry about anything. He’s not Jensen, hacker-soldier-fugitive-man, he’s just Jake, the adorable giant ass friendly dog. 

On this particular afternoon, Cougar and Jake are going to go out for general supplies (I.E. groceries), and Jake made it into a Walkie.

Jake sat outside the small town drug store waiting as Cougar did the shopping inside. He could be inside with the sniper, but Cougar made it clear the last supply run they made that Jensen complained too much. So Jake, brown furred and fluffly tail, waited outside. And its not like he wasn’t going to help. Jensen had ordered one of those doggy backpacks so he could help carry stuff home. He had ordered it under a dummy name and sent it to a local address and then sniped it off the porch. Since they were out in the general populace, Jensen had also ordered a leash, by which he was currently “tethered” to the bike rack. It was only a formality so he wouldn’t get picked up by animal control. Pooch had helped him rig one of the rings on his collar to be a break away, like those magic rings. Jake only had to pull with enough force (not much) and it would let him go. Plus the neon green leash had “Friendly” printed on it, indicating it to people that they could come up to him and pet him if they wanted. Jake loved making people smile, and sometimes being a dog was the easiest way to do it. 

As he waited, he people watched. The town main street was pretty busy for the middle of a weekday. But it was summer, and the town was a touristy kind of place. He looked down the street at the ice cream parlor, families coming out with all manner of cones loaded with rainbows of ice cream and sprinkles.

'Cougar would love that place. Him and his sweet tooth.' thought Jake as he watched a dad nearly loose his cookie dough to the pavement. 

Suddenly there was a sharp high pitched barking coming at him from his other side. Looking around he zeroed in on a Chihuahua snarling and yipping at him, its owner not minding it as she texted on her blue sparkle iPhone, the squirt had a pair of matching booties covering its precious little paws.

'What's up your butt? Got something against ruggedly handsome big dogs or something? What are you? Like the size of one of my poops, my human poops?' Jake thought, tilting his head at the yappy short furred ball of aggression. Something about Jake was pissing it off.

'Man you have huge anger issues. And compensation issues.'

Jake leaned his head down over the Chihuahua, it trying to jump up and bite his nose. Jake just smiled wolfishly (like he could smile any other way right now) and then let out a deep and loud bark at Senor Angry Booties. The Chihuahua froze and then zipped behind its owner, who which, appropriately jumped at the sudden loud noise, as did half the people outside. Jake looked at the store again and saw Cougar glaring at him. Jake just kept smiling, letting his tongue loll out of his mouth. 

"Doggie!" came an excited squeal from the direction of the ice cream parlor.

"Kevin!" came the shout of a mother. Jake turned his head and saw a little boy, probably about 5, with dusty brown hair running up to him. The mother was scrambling up from the metal table horrified as Kevin reached out eagerly to touch Jake’s face. Jake jerked his head back at the sudden movement, but then looked the kid over. The mother was probably terrified that he would eat the boy.

Jake sniffled the boys extended hand, tilting his head. The enthusiasm and curiosity of children was always a wonder, especially around large dangerous things. His niece had been the same way, still was, whenever he Shifted. The boy smelled of air conditioned air, sun block, and vanilla with sprinkles. Jake licked the boy’s hand, Kevin emitting a high pitched giggle and reaching out to pet his head. That was ok. The kid still had sprinkled and dripped ice cream on his dinosaur t-shirt, so Jake licked up the sugary treat.

Kevin loved it, laughing enthusiastically. Jake panted and rolled over to let Kevin kneel and scratch at his tummy.

'Kids are so easy to please. Plus I get tummy scratches. Oh, hey momma. See. No danger. I'm just a big puppy. Senor Angry Booties was just annoying. But Kevin, Kevin's cool.'

Momma ran up and scooped Kevin up and away from Jake, still looking scared.

'Oh ok then. The leash does say Friendly ma'am.'

Kevin waved bye to him over his mom’s shoulder. Jake wagged his tail in response. Then he sat and waited.

'More waiting… Waiting… Waaaiiiitttinnnnggg…. Waiting's boring….'

Cougar was just getting into the back of the line to check out. It would be a while. So Jake waited, watching the people as they passed. Some would smile down at him. Some would go, “Ohh! Big Puppy!”

Down the street he head loud thumping music. Looking down the street he saw the source of the music. A large white SUV, too large for these small streets which were barely two way, came down the road too fast, pulling a speed boat. Tourists.

"Kevin! Stop running around."

Jake saw Kevin avoiding his mother’s grasp, grumpy that she hadn’t let him play with the Doggie, refusing to get into the car. Suddenly Kevin started running away from his mother, aiming for the street. 

Jake was up in a second, pulling hard enough to release the clasp on the leash. He ran out into the street, racing in front of the SUV. Kevin tumbled into the street. Jake grabbed the back of the boy’s shirt in his teeth, feeling the material rip a bit as he yanked the boy back into the shelter of the open parking spots along the street from which he had run from. He heard the harsh squeal of the SUV’s tires as the driver slammed on the breaks.

Kevin was crying as Jake dragged him all the way back to the sidewalk. Jake let go of his shirt and moved around him, sniffing for any blood but smelling nothing more than a a scrapped elbow. The SUV managed to stop just beyond where it would have hit Kevin.

The driver jumped out and started yelling at Kevin.


Jake turned on the driver.

'What the fuck were you doing!? Slow the fuck down you fucking idiot! Watch where you're fucking going and turn down your fuck ass music you fucktard! I should bite your tires out you asswad! Like Jesus Christ there are families around here. You and your fucking plastic tank!'

Of course this all came out as deep angry barking. The driver scrambled back as Jake berated him with insults and threatened the life of his precious car or boat. All that came across to the driver was aggressive barking. 

'You fucking cunt! I'm going to pee on the inside of your car and take a dump on your boat! I'll rip every upolstered surface you own! Be glad I dont have my fucking gun right now. No better yet! Be glad I dont have my computer because I would fuck your shit up! I'm gonna-'

A high pitched whistle came across his wolfish verbal abuse. Jake stopped immediately and turned to where Cougar stood at the curb, groceries and leash in hand. Kevin’s mother was with the boy now, holding him close. Cougar looked pissed.

"Jake." Cougar said quietly.

Jake walked up to Cougar, hanging his head and tucking his tail. Cougar could be scary, even to a Jake in wolf form, and right now he was. He’d have to explain what happened to Cougar, but until then he would have to deal with pissed scary Cougar. Kevin’s mother saved him though.

"Your… Your dog saved my son’s life…" she said, still sounding shook up but grateful. "Th..Thank you."

Jake chanced a glance up at Cougar and found his face softened, a smile in his eyes, grinning his minute smile. Cougar nodded at him and Jake knew he was off the hook. Jake jumped up, wagging his tail wildly and grinning, tongue lolling out. 

'That's right. I'm a good boy. I'm the best boy. I'm saved a kid Cougs. It was awesome. I raced down the street and snagged him from like, right under the tires. Then I cussed out the driver and you should have seen how awesome I was Cougs.' Jake thought as Cougar clipped the leash back to his collar.

The driver stormed up as far as he dared to Cougar as Cougar packed some of the supplies in Jake’s backpack pouches. 

"Fucking Friendly? That’s bullshit! That dog should be muzzled! It was going to attack me!" shouted the driver angrily at Cougar. Cougar gave him and hard look from under the brim of his hat. The driver froze under the Cougar Glare (‘Man my Cougs is awesome. That’s right bitch. Try to attack my Cougs. He doesn’t need my help to fuck you up’ thought Jake.). Slowly he stood, keeping up the glare.

"Maybe you should have slowed down. No?"

Cougar turned and began walking, Jake standing and keeping pace. Jake did spare a smug grin back at the driver as he spluttered. Kevin’s momma took up where Jake had left off. 

Mwahahaha! Part 3 of (at least 4)

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